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Managing Friendships in College [Transition from School to College]

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While college is a great time to find new kind of people and make bonds that will possibly last forever, college can also taint experiences of friendships to an extent that you can’t go back to the innocence that friendship is originally associated with.

One thing I’ve learnt so far is that if you’re a kind, you’ll get a group to last through the boredom and if you’re also lucky enough, that group will meet for reunions for the years to come. But if you’re a little too different, you’ll take time to absorb the goofiness of it all.

Ideally, one makes friends in societies, with like-minded people. Sometimes, it is the classroom and some other times, friends of friends become your friends as well. Either way, you’ll get enough people to hang out around when you’re bored or hungry or want to miss a class. And while I’m not encouraging random friendships, I’d have to say they are blind bets. 

Some of them will turn out to be so good you’ll be seen together everywhere; some of them will make you too different and not in a good way- but either way, friendships are very impactful, especially in college.

Talking about friendships brings us to the question of influence, a lot. A couple of my friends went abroad for college and almost all of them now do some shady thing or the other I don’t approve of. 

(Don’t get me wrong- I’ve always been the mom friend so I really thought my approval mattered, what a hollow bubble of thought). 

But believe me when I say that it doesn’t make you cool and it is very clear that you are out of your senses.

And though these weird interests are the primary concern when we talk about influence, there are other habits as well, that are susceptible to be worn off on you. 

And I’m no one to decide the good-bad aspects but in my subjective opinion, it is not a good idea to let these things get the best of you or control you in any way; if you want to live free, do it while living each moment and maybe occasionally on a sugar rush, but I can’t see the point of being absent-minded all the time.

Off this train of thought and hopping to another one: school friendships. This one is really important so hear me loud and clear when I say everyone is growing their way in their time and with their own set of experiences so your school friends changing in a lot of aspects is obvious. 

You might maintain some friendships through occasional phone/video calls and in some cases meet-ups but while your favourite songs change, they’re working on another playlist too and that friendship will evolve too. As you know, the theory of evolution supports only the fittest and so the rest of your friendships will either fall apart or hang by a thread.

It is indeed really sad sometimes to realize how unexpected this fall is. I’m only one year away from friendships that once meant so much and are now just a bunch of memories that I’m constantly trying (in vain) to refurbish. But I am also very surprised looking at the ones that survived. (I’m pretty sure a lot of my friends who’d be reading this would know.)

So even though you do have some control over what friendships you maintain, it is mostly the unexpected ones that will take you by surprise. I like to think of it this way: if friendships were threads, not only will the thin ones fall out, but so will the intricate, closely-knit ones when not given space to breathe.

One can’t compare school and college friendships mostly because of the freedom shift, but each of those friendships will hold a special place in one’s heart. 

We don’t realize we’re making memories when we are sitting in the library, in line at the canteen, laughing on unrelated jokes with teachers, attending official welcomes and goodbyes, frowning in afternoon classes sleepily, or even just six people sharing a meal for two. 

Maybe just weeks after, we’d be living our life differently with nothing to cheer us up like those memories.

college friendships

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